As a journalist or magazine writer, you have the choice of inspiring new thoughts or finding out what people are already thinking about and searching for a new angle on it.  In the good old days, this was the classic writer’s excuse for smooching away the hours propping up bars, or gazing at the world from the windows of chatty coffee shops.  The modern way, though, is more labour intensive. 

You have to sit down in front of a computer, and hit buttons.  Find out what people have been Googling.  Well, here is a recent example of your too-hot-to-handle editor’s market thought-research. -  The number one Google search item in the UK at the end of the week in question was:

The National Lottery.  Oh well, that’s why this is a relatively peaceful country - we Brits are still sitting around dreaming of riches, rather than getting off our backsides and robbing someone.

Number two was 50 cent.  I assumed this must be a super discount store offering bargains for people who haven’t won the lottery yet, but Google revealed ‘it’ to be a ‘him’.  50 cent is a rapster whom I assume everyone except me has heard of.  He was famous at the time for his opinion that Hurricane Katrina was an act of God, and therefore George Bush and Co could not be blamed for failing to anticipate or alleviate the sufferings of the people whose lives were swept away by the storm.  I think I’m giving you an accurate account of the fellow, but unfortunately I can’t guarantee it.  I couldn’t read any complete sentences from his website, such was the density of Pepsi ads and guns and things flashing around.  Obviously a very cool character.

Three and four were dictionary and Wikipedia.  Ah, so we still use the Internet to find actual information, then.  Number five was holidays, presumably so we can take a break when overburdened by all those pieces of new information.

Number five was Paris Hilton.  This didn’t fool me.  I knew it wasn’t an extension of the holiday theme.  I knew there is a famous blonde person who goes under the name of Paris Hilton.  What I didn’t know until I Googled her (note the G there) was that her recent claim to fame was the making of an advert that proved too raunchy for television.  In the spirit of thorough research, I watched the ad, as many millions more did – with far more attention than they would have done if it had been on television.  Never fails.  Getting yourself banned is a popular marketing ploy these days.

Well, I can see why they didn’t put it on tv.  Expensive-looking blonde person crawls around in a car wash, trying to eat a hamburger whilst getting covered in foam.  It was very similar to what were being sold as X-rated porn films in the last century.  Pretty boring really but then I suppose I’m not the target audience.

Six and seven – East Enders and The Simpsons – for those who remain unsatisfied by the amount of time their favourites are on television.  Eight – paintball.  Ah, a refreshing sign of some outdoor activity there – well, a sign of people looking it up on their computers, anyway.  Number nine was car insurance, number ten train times, and number eleven cheap flights. There we have it – people do still go out!

Number twelve was Chantelle.  I looked at quite a few French and quasi-French lingerie ads trading under this name before discovering that the much-Googled Chantelle was a victim of Big Brother.  Not much to distinguish between Chantelle, Paris Hilton and Katie Price (or Jordan), at number thirteen, although Katie definitely does have a very big bosom.  And finally, traditional British concerns have not disappeared completely – number fifteen was…..fanfare….the weather.

So, let me end this Googly piece with an item of net trivia, and a thought of my very own:

Piece of net trivia:  Last year, so many eager gigglers Googled ‘stupid sayings by George Bush', that Google began automatically listing George’s website as soon as anyone searched for ‘stupid’.

A thought of my own:  How are journalists to find out what people who don’t spend their lives in front of a computer are thinking about?  Is that why we still have a few pubs and cafes about the place?

© Kay Green 2006..